Current location:	The Crow's Nest
Current mood:	confused
Current music:	Death Cab, "I'll Follow You Into The Dark"
Entry tags:	ch-ch-ch-changes, family, year in review

TraditiONNNNN, says the big fat Jewish musical theater guy.
 1. What did you do in 2008 that you'd never done before?:
Attended the funeral of an immediate family member, moved out of my parents' house for good and all, paid rent, got a "real job," had my own health insurance, lived with a sig. oth. in an official sense, went to Mexico, was rejected from an academic program..

2. Did you keep your new year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
These were my resolutions for last year:
1. Make it to the gym at least once a week. (EPIC FAIL.)
2. Take some classes at MCC. (Yet again, fail, but it turned out to be okay.)
3. MOVE OUT OF MY PARENTS' HOUSE BY AUGUST. (Success!)
4. Save more money, more actively. (Yes and no. I spend more now, but it's all on things like rent and food and bills, and I'm pretty frugal with the rest. Slowly but surely, I''m building up savings.)
5. Waste less time on the internet. (Done, but mostly because my computer broke.)
6. Keep up the Armchair Philologist regularly. (Epic Fail Mark Three!)

These are the new ones-- less concrete, more flexible.
1. Be more decisive.
2. Stop apologizing for things I'm not sorry for.
3. Write more.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?:
Not that I remember.

4. Did anyone close to you die?:
Question of the year, people-- my father.

5. What countries did you visit?:
Mexico

6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?:
More trust in my own ability to handle responsibility, a clearer sense of center to my life, more connection with spirituality, and more friends closer to me. And a new laptop. Yes. 

7. What dates from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?:
February 16, the day my father died. August 10, the day I moved out. 

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?:
Finding an apartment I loved, a job I enjoy and at which I excel, and things to pass the time which are not entirely introverted. Being part of a relationship which is honest, open, mutually supportive, and a hell of a lot of fun.

9. What was your biggest failure?:
Being rejected from graduate school.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?:
Some bizarre fevers and a lot of depression.

11. What was the best thing you bought?: 
Apartment furnishings for my own place (man, I still love saying that), a lot of books (including a replacement Exalted corebook), some really lovely yarn which was mostly made into presents for people, and a kickass dress that makes me look like an evil anime princess.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?:
My family's, bearing up and holding together when all of our worst fears were realized. Andy's, for standing by me then and for being willing to stand by me, work with me, and trust me still. Floeter and Jessa, without whom I would probably just have exploded. And, I suppose, my mom's new boyfriend Steve, whom she met unexpectedly and whose presence in our lives still feels really strange, but who is for all that a pretty cool guy and who makes my mother very happy.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?:
Sascha's, around my dad's funeral, but we have since made up. Emily's and my mother's, often enough-- I hope one day they'll learn how not to completely antagonize each other
 
14. Where did most of your money go?:
Rent, gas, food, bills, books, and whimsy.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?:
Moving out of my parents' house and in with Andy. My trip to Mexico. Floeter & Kyle's wedding (still to come.) Doing House on the Rock with Jacob. Gaming.

16. What song will always remind you of 2008?:
Daft Punk-- "Harder Better Faster Stronger", Polyphonic Spree-- "Light To Follow", everything on the Garden State soundtrack, particularly "I Just Don't Think I'll Ever Get Over You" by Colin Hay, the CMS music, everything off of Soviet Kitsch by Regina Spektor, Ludo-- "Love Me Dead", The Mountain Goats-- "No Children", all the music from my dad's funeral.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? Happier, oddly enough.
ii. thinner or fatter? Thinner by a good deal.
iii. richer or poorer? Poorer, technically, but handling my money better.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?:
Traveling, making friends, spending time with my dad.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?:
Procrastinating and feeling sorry for myself.

20. How did you spend Christmas?:
Christmas Eve I spent having supper and opening presents with Andy's family and singing in church services. Christmas Day I spent opening presents with my family and then inviting Andy to our house for Christmas dinner.

22. Did you fall in love in 2008?:
Yes, I do believe I did.

23. How many one-night stands?:
None.

24. What was your favorite TV program?:
House and the new series of Doctor Who.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?:
No.

26. What was the best book you read?:
Snow Crash by Neal Stephenson, The Handmaid's Tale and Oryx and Crake by Margaret Atwood, a whole bunch of Orson Scott Card (including, but not limited to, Xenocide, Children of the Mind, Ender's Shadow, Shadow of the Hegemon, Shadow Puppets, and Shadow of the Giant), The Mother Tongue: English and How It Got That Way by Bill Bryson, The Language Instinct by Stephen Pinker, Dance of the Dissident Daughter by Sue Monk Kidd, Inventing English: A Portable History of the Language by Seth Lerer, Word Origins And Their Romantic Stories by Wilfred Funk, the Sandman series by Neil Gaiman, the Seamus Heaney translation of Beowulf, and probably a whole host of others I cannot now name.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?:
Seeing Death Cab for Cutie live, Daft Punk, Regina Spektor, Muse, Sascha's mix CDs including, among other things: Lily Allen & Mark Ronson, Gandalf, iwrestledabearonce, and all manner of fun metal, face-to-face Charleston, and Floeter's driving mixes.

28. What did you want and get?:
A new place, a job working with students, financial independence, a relationship that works without drama.

29. What did you want and not get?:
Accepted to grad school, my dad.

30. What was your favorite film of this year?:
The Fountain, which didn't come out this year, but I saw it for the first time.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?:
Nothing at all happened on my birthday. I worked an 8:30-5:00 shift at the dance studio, ordered out sushi, and was late to my Chorale dress rehearsal, which started at 7 and went until 11. The Chorale did sing to me, though, which was splendid. I was 23.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?:
Er. If that whole thing about my father dying had not happened.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?:
Educator/Sellout Casual, with snarky t-shirts making occasional cameos.

34. What kept you sane?:
I stayed sane?

34a. Okay, what kept you less crazy?
My family, Andy, my friends, and my own dogged insistence on continuing to function.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?:
Jesse Spencer and Barack Obama.

36. What political issue stirred you the most?:
BARACK THE VOTE!

37. Who did you miss?:
My wonderful Yuais, and my wonderful father.

38. Who was the best new person you met?:
My students, particularly P. and R., and the crew at the Express office.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008:
Shit happens, but there's no shit you can't handle.

40. Quote a song lyric that describes the past year:
There are several.

"I drink good coffee every morning
It comes from a place that's far away
And when I'm done I feel like talking
Without you here, there is less to say
I'm not saying I'm unhappy
What is closer to the truth
Is if I lived till I was a hundred and two
I just don't think I'll ever get over you"
(Colin Hay)

"Ah, my deare angrie Lord
Since thou dost love, yet strike
Cast down, yet help afford
Sure I will do the like
I will complain, yet praise
I will bewail, approve,
And all my soure-sweete dayes
I shall lament, and love."
from "Bitter-Sweet," by Randall Thompson

"You see what you look for, you know.
You're not a kid anymore. I don't think you'll ever be a kid again, kiddo.
Hey, buddy, don't be afraid it won't be perfect.
The only thing to be afraid of really is that it won't be.
Don't stop now. Keep going...
Somebody, need me too much
Somebody, know me too well
Somebody, pull me up short
And put me through hell
And give me support for being alive
Make me alive
Make me confused, mock me with praise
Let me be used, vary my days
But alone is alone, not alive
Somebody, crowd me with love
Somebody, force me to care
Somebody, make me come through
I'll always be there
As frightened as you
To help us survive..."
"Being Alive," from Company


And, as always, "It's enough to be on my way, it's enough just to cover ground, it's enough to be moving on."



So, in other news, I guess my mother's getting married again.

Yeah, I know, right? You'd better believe there'll be more on this one later.